went to bed at eight last night. woke up at five. felt like i needed that, considering i wake up at five every day without fail – the papers won’t deliver themselves.
i don’t know why i set out to deliver papers in the first place. maybe it was the money, but then again, the money’s bad – half of what a paper-round just about anywhere else would earn you. maybe it was the lack of things to do, but i leave home at quarter past seven most days and return gone five. in the end, i figured it must have been the structure, the routine. the getting up at the same time, the getting dressed, the shower upon the return, the rushed breakfast, the badly-made sandwiches thrown hastily into the bag, the mad scramble for the rail ticket (sometimes made worse by realisation that i had forgotten to purchase it the day before) and then the sigh of relief at getting to the station on time and catching that train.
but routines aren’t the same on sundays.
i woke up early today. yes, dearest, i recieved your text upon waking up. even replied to it at five thirty, still in bed, typing furiously, using up so many of my available messages. acknowledged your apologies (but for what were you to apologise for? that missed phonecall? the fact that you went out to see a play? my dear, that is nothing to be apologetic for!). read the messages from X and Z (how queer it is that you all texted me within the hour last night, when i was already sleeping) and decided to keep them waiting for a little while.
in any case, i had to rush off to do the papers.
and then not thirty minutes ago now, you replied to my early morning text – a lovingly-crafted text, so sublimely rich in adoration and yet not clingy in the least. the statement hope you’re not missing me juxtaposed with although i am missing you . you know, it’s almost as if you were wooing me. if i didn’t know better, i’d think you were. but i do.
and i know that you’ll love me in silence.
you’ll love me without asking for love back.
i’ll reply to that text in the evening or maybe in the afternoon. for now, i’ll keep you waiting.