15. you live and learn, right?

some days are just rubbish.
no way of getting round it. no way of changing that fact.
today was one of those days.

when you wake up in the morning, what do you think? do you think of the days having gone past or do you look to the future? do you make a wish? just a little one, maybe. like, i wish my train runs on time today or i wish this cold doesn’t get any worse.
i did all of that this morning and still, still i couldn’t prevent the day being a failure. like a snowflake melting halfway down on its journey from the sky ot the ground.
no amount of good-luck actions would have changed that, i think.
it’s all written in the stars, no? 

it was W this time. he’s so important that i’ve never even mentioned him before now, but hey, you live and learn, right?
he went and told the superiors that i was bullying him. last time i checked, caring about what one has to say, always asking one if he’s alright (genuinely concerned, because he did seem depressed lately), making jokey, playful remarks is NOT bullying.

but hey, you live and learn, right?

that hurt me.
i don’t know what to say. he was my friend and he turned against me, making accusations our mutual friends were shocked to hear. that i, yself, was shocked to hear. 
but why would he make up something like that?
oh, this is a good one. listen to this, right – the superior was telling him off, so he figured… shift the blame on someone else. tell them he was having a tough time of it all and i was making it worse.
i wish he’d tell me how being friendly is making it worse.

but his excuse for saying that to the superior is the best. it’s not really much of an excuse at all: he didn’t think she’d tell me.
i guess he just didn’t think.

but he was right:
she didn’t tell me. she screamed right at me how unacceptable bullying was, how i should be ashamed, how i’m a disappointment.
the list goes on. 

and is that something a friend would do? i don’t think so, somehow.

i cried today. more than once. i couldn’t believe it. 
call me naive, but i thought that W was my friend. i liked him a lot. he was my train buddy.

how stupid of me.

8 responses to “15. you live and learn, right?

  1. This must have hurt so much, the feeling of betrayal must be overwhelming. I really feel for you. Sometimes people just aren’t the people we think we know.

    • thank you for the comment. it means a lot. ;)
      yes, it was hurtful, but we have to learn to leave the past in the past and now i’m over it. i’m stronger, better, more prepared for the challenges life has to throw at me. :)

  2. This is love and pain in the rawest of forms. Betrayal cuts so deep. I’m sorry.

    They say where a cut or wound is formed, the skin grows stronger and more resilient there.

    I applaud your strength.

  3. thank you for the support :)
    it’s true – whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger :D

  4. J.Alfred Prufrock

    You call that betrayal? Baby just wait.

  5. sometimes i think people have forgotten how to be real friends…

  6. ahhh, you live and learn, you live and learn…

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