18. his arrogance will be the death of us


the weekend sweeps me off my feet like you never could.
still, you do it better than X.
he’s been on my mind persistently for the last few days. not because i miss him: no, i’m glad we don’t see each other much. but rather because his presumtion of his own greatness is driving me insane. take for example yesterday – just to prove his superiority over the poor old me, he went and asked all his friends whether they thought he was better than me.
i think you can guess the result.

but, hey, for some reason i didn’t care.
it didn’t upset me at all, but it did make me wonder why he was doing all that. is that his way of trying to retain me in his arms? i don’t think he realises that i never was in his arms and god forbid i ever will be.
he is my project first and my boyfriend second.
not even a close second at that.   

that may sound ruthless, but believe me, it ain’t so. i’m only trying to help him, prepare him for the future. at the beginning i thought we could work, but then he disappointed and i thought i’d be a clever idea to try to “improve” him.
just for the hell of it.
i always wanted to “improve” someone – make them appreciate the arts more, motivate them to study harder, show them what it’s like to see perfection so close up, but i realise now that this process requires you to genuinely care for the person and now i’m not sure whether i care any more.

his arrogance will be the death of us.

—————————————————————————-

“The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

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6 responses to “18. his arrogance will be the death of us

  1. Wow!

    “but i realise now that this process requires you to genuinely care for the person and now i’m not sure whether i care any more”

    This says so much. How the actions of someone can contaminate our feelings towards them. Sometimes, without them even knowing the damage they’ve caused.

    Brilliant!
    x

  2. creative work, smart post.

  3. J.Alfred Prufrock

    As a piece of writing your work is immediately interesting.
    {If any of this is true, it ain’t clever at all, you need to quit pretending. Play real.}

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