30. love’s only ignorance after all

like a tidal wave, i ride out the headache, the thump thump thump just a sound in the vast expanse of the sea.

and in the moment, i think of what was washed away by the tide of time, the pebbles lost in the deep blue. it’s odd how Y has almost disappered from my horizon, no longer the blinding sun, he turned to ash, forming a grey flock of seaguls in the azure sky.
my handsome dark prince no more, thought that no more is questionable for he was never handsome, never even in the delirium of my mind. i knew better than that, my heart just as sensible as my head.

i’d say these thoughts are stemming from nothing, that they are messages in ancient bottles surfacing again after aeons of days and nights in the depth of the gurgling waters of my dreams but that is not so.
i realise now that only by observing others do we learn a little of ourselves.
today i saw love as it really is, undiluted, unblemished. i saw that look of helpless adoration, unconditional, my friend’s eyes glistening as if he was perfect for her and she for him.
and it didn’t surprise me much that he was not handsome, nor intelligent, nor charismatic much and i understood it all. what surprised me was that it didn’t concern me that i’ve never felt like that.

love’s only ignorance after all.


8 responses to “30. love’s only ignorance after all

  1. Oh then leave me the ignorant man, plucking coral encrusted bottles from dreams, reading of long ago forlon letters of heart that speaks true.

  2. moondustwriter

    Oh love you have broken me taken me but have always swept me up anew. Do not leave please remain and to me be true…

    Love ya

  3. Really liked this. Particularly “ancient bottles surfacing again”, fantastic imagery.

  4. well it’s true. a person doesn’t have to be handsome or intelligent or what-else to be perfect for another person. “what surprised me was that it didn’t concern me that i’ve never felt like that.” that is surprising, but i suppose it was a calm sort of surprise? you used the metaphor of water in bottles. maybe at that time you were at the bottom of something deep. but however it was, you brought out something here that not many people care to see, and less people are willing to admit. i salute you.

    i only hope you (and i) get to feel that way. we are (i dare include myself) perspicacious enough to make the most of the experience, and besides, after feeling so much so often, we deserve it. ;-)

    • and it was an acceptance rather than anything, that feeling of indifference at knowing someone has something that you don’t. i happen to believe that if love like that wanted me to find it, it would have placed itself in my life. the love i found is different but in no way less interesting.

      and yes, yes, one day maybe we will feel that, but will it make us happy is a different matter. still, let us hope and see. :)

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