47. claiming the world


what does it feel like to claim and not be claimed?
i used to know.
i remember knowing, living for the memories. and recollections come and go, but it’s been close to never since that was me, claiming the world without giving anything back. and the gold thread of freedom trailed behind me, uscathed, untouched.
now, that thread, ulcerous tail, no longer golden, only appears when there’s a total eclipse of the heart.
it’s my firestarter, the shot signalling a race, a way of loving myself more by loving you less. 

and it’s nothing more than a joke – a special effect amidst an action movie; an actress screaming as ketchup flows from her imaginary wounds.
for you have become my all, mi vida, mi corazon.
you have claimed me, like france claims you again.

tonight, tomorrow, for days on end, you leave me here alone. no X, no Y, no admirers, no other loves. i cut those golden threads leaving only one.
my tarnished freedom. my back-up plan.

and i leave myslef vulnerable to you. to claim.

and maybe all i ever wanted was to be claimed, my rebellions just a show so that when the curtain call was done and i was in my dressing room, all alone, taking the make-up off my face, someone, anyone, would walk in and force me to my knees, making me love them without loving me back. 
and then, i would know what it was like to love a spy in the house of love. 
then, whatever i thought of them would be what the world thought of me and i would feel whatever the world felt after i claimed it.

and none of it would matter, because the world would still be mine.

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9 responses to “47. claiming the world

  1. moondustwriter

    think as long as there is a backup plan then love is held at arms length

    no matter what “the world would still be mine”…

    Love to my dear romantic today

  2. wow, this is amazing. i know detachment pretty well but somehow it always finds a way to bite ya back in the end, doesn’t it?

  3. what a familiar feeling… wonderful writing

  4. really enjoyed this. :D havent been on as much had a manic few weeks but love coming back to read your new stuff. always impresses me.

  5. Wow!

    “What does it feel like to claim and not be claimed?”

    …so touching, and says soooooo much!

    Beautiful post – really struck a chord! And opened up a cupboard of feelings I once felt, and pray not to feel again!

    Thank you for taking me there. This will keep me on track ;-)

    xxx

  6. thank you all for the wonderful words of encourgement!!
    really appreciate you being here (:

    xxx

  7. hey glitter, i am not good in this but how do you insert the copyright endorsement into your homepage and where can i get this? mind showing me how to?

  8. i’m a rebellious sort waiting for the right kind of conquerer to claim my wild forests as well. just because we ask them to fight for it doesn’t mean we don’t want it; we just want to feel the drip of their blood and hear their heart scream for it to be really sure they deserve it.

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