66. as we stand there


what moved me yesterday was not the explosion after explosion in the sky, nor the coldness enveloping us in a tightly huddled mass of warm bodies. it was the way you looked at me, as if seeing me for the first time. or the last time. and i don’t know how much truth there is in the world, but so long you keep looking at me like that, my heart will long for yours.

yesterday was an annivesary in ways. 7 months, but more than that. 
i was with X then, and with Y to an extent, but that night, a year ago, you held my hand in yours, warming it, holding me gently under the fireworks and the stars. a friend and no more, keeping me warm placidly yet wanting me wholly.
now i’m yours solely.
please burn for me still.

this was the poem i wrote for you a year ago. and now you know.

a drizzle of rain warms me up
like your hands on mine, polishing the silver
the ground not yet ready to settle, the sky – to erupt
and we are languishing in the middle
of the broken
reverie
I conceived with someone else

smiling in knowing
you’d carry my life on your shoulders if I let you
bequeathing me your last breath as a parting present
but how could I ever justify your love or lust
as we stand there under the unremitting gaze of stars
almost like an audience awaiting the typical finale
my heart so suddenly awake

wanting to take
all that you offer, grab it in handfuls
frigid hands clasping yours with the ferocity
that would make you bleed and leave crescent shapes
as a memory of my need
living signature of my greed
instead I leave you with a seed

of hope.

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12 responses to “66. as we stand there

  1. ” it was the way you looked at me, as if seeing me for the first time. or the last time.”

    oh, i know that look, to some extent anyways. i like this. relationships have such a poetic effect on us :p

  2. Intense and beautifully written. Love the fracturing periods of time.

  3. i missed yours too! :-) i love how everything you write is poetic. x

  4. this is so beautiful…

  5. beautifully written, as always! :)

  6. beautiful scene, beautiful memory, beautiful realization of a potential. wow. i believe my own life is chock-full of beauty – but every time i read you i still feel blessed to live vicariously through your words.

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