some days i realise
they wouldn’t be worth living
if i didn’t have you
pounding in my heart.
it sounds cliché,
somehow outdated, to say this here
and to say this now. almost
a long-distance call to atlanta
where skies flow like whisky down the throat,
and people, morning sunshine,
before receiver clicks in the ear
with mourning beep foreshadowing the silence
with a million shards of sounds
running like a movie in my eyes.
Posted in excerpts
Tagged almost, and, atlanta, be, beach, before, call, cliche, click, days, distance, down, ear, eyes, flow, foreshadow, have, heart, here, if, like, live, living, long, million, morning, mourn, mourning, movie, my, now, outdated, people, poems, poetry, pound, realise, reciever, run, running, say, shards, silence, skies, some, sounds, storm, sunshine, they, throat, where, whisky, with, worth, wouldn't
as an endless circle
of coiled nucleic acid strand
without a protein coat
to hide in
so here you are:
like the moon,
causing the tides of your moods,
the thick mesh of clouds
as a sliver
after total destruction
of another menstrual lifecycle
and i’ve noticed
you don’t see the moon unless you’re looking for it
or sleeping with your face under the open sky
its coming and going
passes the world silently by
that’s why my whole life
has been about finding
the blind spot
in the lover’s eyes.
Posted in excerpts
Tagged about, acid, after, another, are, as, been, behind, blind, by, cause, causing, circle, clouds, coat, coiled, coming, cycle, destruction, endless, eyes, face, falling, finding, for, going, has, here, hide, in, interminable, it, life, like, looking, lover, menstrual, mesh, mood, moon, my, noticed, nucleic, of, open, passes, protein, reappearing, right, see, silently, sky, sleep, sliver, spot, strand, that, thick, tides, total, under, unless, whole, why, without, world, you
do you reckon we could make snow angels without snow? we could scrape ourselves against the ground, delirium of cold seeping through our pores. then, maybe then, our bodies would scrape away the frost from the pavement without drawing blood. maybe the ice will shatter somewhere inside of us. i’m cold tonight and nothing will warm me.
more than anything, i’d like for the sunset to come around again.
more violent this time, more primitive, innate; heat firing my synapses all at once with broken impulses. and i want it to smell of freshly brewed coffee in a little cafe on a little hidden street nobody knows but stumbles onto by chance. we must always roll the die of life. it’s in the eyes. always in the eyes.
yesterday i would have told you it never comes around, but silence came. and now i know true silence is that which lies in the inevitability of it being broken any moment now. suppose it’s like cutting a cake. don’t ask me why.
and when it comes around you can see it lurking like a shadow in the eyes. a vapid corner of pitch black dark. but we are burning embers in the shadows of the light.
come with me: it will be alright.
i have decided that i will be cold tonight.
but i will try to warm you up.
Posted in chapters of my life
Tagged again, against, all, alright, always, angels, any, anything, are, around, ask, at, away, being, black, blood, bodies, brewed, broken, burning, by, cafe, cake, came, chance, coffee, cold, come, comes, corner, could, cutting, dark, decided, delirium, dice, die, do, don't, drawing, embers, eyes, firing, freshly, frost, ground, heat, hidden, ice, impulses, inevitablity, innate, inside, it, know, knows, lies, life, light, like, little, lurking, make, maybe, me, moment, more, must, my, never, nobody, nothing, now, of, once, onto, our, pavement, pitch, pores, primitive, reckon, roll, scrape, see, seeping, shadow, shadows, shatter, silence, smell, snow, somewhere, street, stumbles, sunset, suppose, synapses, than, the, this, through, time, told, tonight, true, try, up, us, vapid, violent, want, warm, we, when, which, why, will, with, without, would, yesterday, you