84. that will be all

it’s time for answers. or questions. whichever. 
a fellow writer inspired me to think about a few. and they started the clock tick-tocking inside my mind: what did a girl like me want anyhow? what is the dream, the true ideal?


1. i’d like a picture of you on my windowsill by my bed: to keep, to hold, to treasure. it will be my reminder that you exist and when i wake up in the middle of the night, wondering if i dreamt up my whole life, i want it there to touch. it’ll be solid in my hands. a relic. and it’ll be in a mosaic picture-frame we’ve yet to buy. in barcelona or in paris (just because i like the way you say it) or in a magic place far away.

2. i’d like to have you on call, running to me whenever i need you there and sometimes just because. you know: for no reason, just because i want to be in your arms where it’s never lonely.  

3. and i want you to have eyes for nobody else but me, following me, stalking me, penetrating me anew with every gaze. i want them to ask me for affirmation of my love every morning and i want them to drown me whole, as if they were not eyes but lagoons of clear-blue water in devon, on hot summer afternoon, when all you want is to immerse yourself whole in water .

4. but more than anything, i’d like to know that this is where you want to be: here with me.

5. that will be all.


9 responses to “84. that will be all

  1. This post is BEAUTIFUL!!! I would like to be drowned in love and in someone’s eyes who loved me :-). Someday. . .maybe we will find them!

  2. Only the last.
    The rest is too possessive and needy as well as showing a deep sense of insecurity both with yourself and your place in the world.
    I watched as a lover slept on.
    Too afraid to wake her to tell her i loved her.
    Too insecure to tell her i adored her.
    And too damn stupid to leave her..

    • dear bear,
      i am incredibly happy with my space in the world. that can be seen in my blog very rarely because i only post when i have something that i feel is worth saying. that rarely is something happy.

      hope that helps you to understand my post better ;) xx

  3. aaaaaaaw! I hope you get to have all your heart’s desires. you deserve ’em all ;)

  4. Found it very touching. Sweet vulnerability of being in love. Comes across as a very honest expression of your feelings.

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