above the mountains, touching rooftops
where dreams are made through Kais and Gerdas of tonight,
their flowers – moondust
eclipsing the broken shells of sky.
i tell you, soar,
as if there was no tomorrow – who knows
if there will be a today.
i see horizon cracking at the edges, burdened with heavy clouds
of rain. cumulative correlation of cumulous clouds.
the very thought is raining on me.
so build your wings, Icarus:
i keep one eye in those clouds to watch over your flight.
as though you might not make it.
Posted in excerpts
Tagged above, as, be, broken, build, burden, clouds, correlation, crack, cumulative, cumulous, dreams, dust, eclipse, edges, eye, flight, flower, gerda, heavy, horizon, icarus, if, it, kai, keep, know, made, make, me, might, moon, moondust, mountains, no, not, on, one, over, poems, poetry, raining, rooftops, see, shells, sky, soar, tell, the, their, there, those, though, thought, through, today, tomorrow, tonight, touch, veryt, watch, where, who, will, wings, you, your
what does it feel like to claim and not be claimed?
i used to know.
i remember knowing, living for the memories. and recollections come and go, but it’s been close to never since that was me, claiming the world without giving anything back. and the gold thread of freedom trailed behind me, uscathed, untouched.
now, that thread, ulcerous tail, no longer golden, only appears when there’s a total eclipse of the heart.
it’s my firestarter, the shot signalling a race, a way of loving myself more by loving you less.
and it’s nothing more than a joke – a special effect amidst an action movie; an actress screaming as ketchup flows from her imaginary wounds.
for you have become my all, mi vida, mi corazon.
you have claimed me, like france claims you again.
tonight, tomorrow, for days on end, you leave me here alone. no X, no Y, no admirers, no other loves. i cut those golden threads leaving only one.
my tarnished freedom. my back-up plan.
and i leave myslef vulnerable to you. to claim.
and maybe all i ever wanted was to be claimed, my rebellions just a show so that when the curtain call was done and i was in my dressing room, all alone, taking the make-up off my face, someone, anyone, would walk in and force me to my knees, making me love them without loving me back.
and then, i would know what it was like to love a spy in the house of love.
then, whatever i thought of them would be what the world thought of me and i would feel whatever the world felt after i claimed it.
and none of it would matter, because the world would still be mine.
Posted in chapters of my life
Tagged action, actress, admirer, again, all, alone, amidst, anyone, anything, appear, back, be, become, behind, call, claim, claimed, claims, close, come, corazon, curtain, cut, days, does, done, dressing, eclipse, effect, end, face, feel, felt, firestarter, flow, force, france, freedom, give, go, gold, golden, heart, here, house, i, imaginary, in, joke, ketchup, knees, know, leave, leaving, less, live, living, longer, love, loves, loving, make, make-up, matter, maybe, me, memories, mine, more, movie, my, myself, never, none, not, nothing, of, off, on, one, only, other, plan, race, rebellions, recollection, remember, room, scream, shot, show, signal, since, someone, special, spy, still, tail, take, tarnished, than, that, them, think, thought, thread, threads, to, tomorrow, tonight, total, trailed, ulcerous, unscathed, untouched, used, vida, vulnerable, walk, want, was, way, what, whatever, when, without, world, would, wounds, x, y, you