sharp crimson of longing
spreads its tenticles
through the mileage of capillaries,
deep into soft skin on the nape of the neck;
makes itself felt in the first flush,
then – the second,
before electicity echoes painfully in the gaps
between the fingers.
she slips from his hands.
what moved me yesterday was not the explosion after explosion in the sky, nor the coldness enveloping us in a tightly huddled mass of warm bodies. it was the way you looked at me, as if seeing me for the first time. or the last time. and i don’t know how much truth there is in the world, but so long you keep looking at me like that, my heart will long for yours.
yesterday was an annivesary in ways. 7 months, but more than that.
i was with X then, and with Y to an extent, but that night, a year ago, you held my hand in yours, warming it, holding me gently under the fireworks and the stars. a friend and no more, keeping me warm placidly yet wanting me wholly.
now i’m yours solely.
please burn for me still.
this was the poem i wrote for you a year ago. and now you know.
a drizzle of rain warms me up
like your hands on mine, polishing the silver
the ground not yet ready to settle, the sky – to erupt
and we are languishing in the middle
of the broken
I conceived with someone else
smiling in knowing
you’d carry my life on your shoulders if I let you
bequeathing me your last breath as a parting present
but how could I ever justify your love or lust
as we stand there under the unremitting gaze of stars
almost like an audience awaiting the typical finale
my heart so suddenly awake
wanting to take
all that you offer, grab it in handfuls
frigid hands clasping yours with the ferocity
that would make you bleed and leave crescent shapes
as a memory of my need
living signature of my greed
instead I leave you with a seed
Posted in chapters of my life
Tagged after, ago, all, almost, annivesary, are, at, audience, awaiting, awake, bequathe, bleed, bodies, breath, broken, burn, carry, clasp, coldness, concieve, could, crescent, drizzle, else, envelop, erupt, ever, explosion, extent, ferocity, finale, fireworks, first, for, friend, frigid, gaze, gently, grab, greed, ground, hand, handfuls, hands, heart, held, holding, hope, how, huddle, instead, is, it, justify, keep, know, languishing, last, leave, let, life, like, living, long, look, looking, love, lust, make, mass, me, memory, middle, months, more, move, moved, much, my, need, night, nor, not, now, of, offer, parting, placidly, please, poem, poems, poetry, polishing, present, rain, ready, reverie, seed, seeing, settle, shapes, shoulders, signature, silver, sky, smiling, solely, someone, stand, stars, still, suddenly, take, that, then, there, tightly, time, truth, typical, under, unremitting, up, want, warm, warming, was, way, ways, we, what, wholly, with, world, would, x, y, year, yesterday, yet, you, your, yours
I glisten like humidity on windows
of brazen memories of not so long ago
and you look through that glass into the night,
presence of my ghost lingering behind
as moonlight shines and stars above you shimmer
I continue to simmer.
this is a poem from so long i don’t care to remember. it was a scribble on a notepad some solitary evening. about Y, of course. i dedicated few poems to X. it was Y that i loved.
and now, here we are: Y has just gotten engaged. the status flashed up as the first notification on my facebook homepage. c’est la vie and i don’t regret it. so long the finger isn’t mine, he can put all the rings on it he wants.
i don’t need a cage, just love, like nectar, flowing freely.
so give me love!
Posted in excerpts
Tagged above, ago, all, behind, brazen, c'est, cage, care, continue, course, dedicate, don't, engaged, evening, facebook, few, finger, first, flash, flowing, freely, from, ghost, give, glass, glisten, humidity, into, just, like, lingering, long, look, love, loved, me, memories, moonlight, my, nectar, need, night, not, notepad, notification, now, page, poem, poems, poetry, presence, put, regret, remember, rings, scribble, shimmer, shine, simmer, solitary, some, stars, status, that, through, vie, want, windows, x, y, you