this is home

How quietly loves pass you by,
Their names – moonless nights
killing postcoital glow.
/
/
How gravely love moulds to hate
or apathy,
mixing into the summer air,
You,
uttering their names,
holding onto that fire
/
Driving fast,
somewhere past
a streetcar named desire,
Burning through memories
Ash scattering ash
/
And
every
spark
hits
the
pavement
like
a
stone
/
You stop to breathe.
You’re not alone.
/
You know I’m here
And this is home.

30. love’s only ignorance after all

like a tidal wave, i ride out the headache, the thump thump thump just a sound in the vast expanse of the sea.

and in the moment, i think of what was washed away by the tide of time, the pebbles lost in the deep blue. it’s odd how Y has almost disappered from my horizon, no longer the blinding sun, he turned to ash, forming a grey flock of seaguls in the azure sky.
my handsome dark prince no more, thought that no more is questionable for he was never handsome, never even in the delirium of my mind. i knew better than that, my heart just as sensible as my head.

i’d say these thoughts are stemming from nothing, that they are messages in ancient bottles surfacing again after aeons of days and nights in the depth of the gurgling waters of my dreams but that is not so.
i realise now that only by observing others do we learn a little of ourselves.
today i saw love as it really is, undiluted, unblemished. i saw that look of helpless adoration, unconditional, my friend’s eyes glistening as if he was perfect for her and she for him.
and it didn’t surprise me much that he was not handsome, nor intelligent, nor charismatic much and i understood it all. what surprised me was that it didn’t concern me that i’ve never felt like that.

love’s only ignorance after all.