35. we parted with a soft beep and a stone upon our chests

have you noticed we always have this thing of bringing up the pain before we part, as if we need that food for thought in seperation?
and late at night, when lights are off, we lay there in deep silence engulfed by other person’s hurt, forgetting ours so well. and every shadow on the wall from passing cars or people we see from our beds is just another memory of me and you and this.

last night i laid there recieving the night like hapless counterpart, ill all day, i was happy to recline back in my bed, my throat like partched white paper, both inside and out. and your voice was like my savior, a ray of sunlight in the realm of the shadows, as i listened to your every syllable over the sleek grey phone, loving and unloving every word.

but one phrase or maybe more snapped a tight elastic around my heart, that forbidden line where the predator in me sleeps, and the rush of blood to the head roused me. containing the beast within me as best as i could, i asked you not to talk about it again. but you did and i snapped outright, a lion roar echoing in the enclosure of my room.
and then i told you the bitter truths.
and then i had to go.

and at midnight, we parted with a soft beep and a stone upon our chests.
in my realm, nightmares followed.
in yours, a silent thought of me.

3 responses to “35. we parted with a soft beep and a stone upon our chests

  1. I really feel your exquisite pain, so elegantly you lay your self bare once more. I wish I had your talent for self-expression.

  2. thank you lifereboot :)
    your comments mean a lot.
    and i guess to show the world exactly what one feels, one has to recreate the pain and love and happiness they feel, otherwise its merely a hollow shell of a story… ;)

  3. different effects of one thing on different people, that are somehow trying to make it together, while also trying to make it apart.

    reading this just gave me a pain in the heart; but this is not a complaint. rather, i hope that some part of your pain is alleviated by the thought that someone is sharing it, and i don’t mind being that someone.


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