talk me of happiness,
of women i have been,
of anything that makes your heart pound
a hundred miles an hour /
and breathe me a life
i’ve given you for free
so i inhale the oxygen i’ve stolen from myself /
to fire my synapses
in this elusive chain reaction /
i’m lost
and i have been lost
all my life /
in me,
in all the things you see,
in the frozen whiteness all around me /
so slash my neck
and paint me black /
so hold me tight
and bring me white /
roses.
Posted in excerpts
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your life is blistered
by the setting sun
and dreams we dreamt
as if we were living
for one life only
the jokes we told
today: the ironies of life,
the laughs we laughed
callused by bitter strangeness
adieu
to you
is but a foreign language
to me it’s broken glow stick lighting up the sky
i’ll say goodbye
but not in english
i’ll say goodbye
and it will be forever new.
————————————————–
last weekend i was away with friends. trekking. miles walked under the coldness of october sun with you, with Y and others. according to Y it is over a year since he began life anew with his blonde. i know it isn’t. the day he professes their anniversary is the day i spent crying in his arms. it was the day when i almost begged him for a platonic kiss. it was the day he said “how can it be platonic if we are in love?”
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glittering soot on her eyelashes 