your life is blistered
by the setting sun
and dreams we dreamt
as if we were living
for one life only
the jokes we told
today: the ironies of life,
the laughs we laughed
callused by bitter strangeness
adieu
to you
is but a foreign language
to me it’s broken glow stick lighting up the sky
i’ll say goodbye
but not in english
i’ll say goodbye
and it will be forever new.
————————————————–
last weekend i was away with friends. trekking. miles walked under the coldness of october sun with you, with Y and others. according to Y it is over a year since he began life anew with his blonde. i know it isn’t. the day he professes their anniversary is the day i spent crying in his arms. it was the day when i almost begged him for a platonic kiss. it was the day he said “how can it be platonic if we are in love?”
Posted in excerpts
Tagged according, adieu, almost, anew, anniversary, arms, as, away, begged, bitter, blistered, blonde, broken, by, callused, coldness, crying, day, dreams, dreamt, english, foreign, forever, friends, glow, goodbye, his, how, if, in love, ironies, isn't, jokes, kiss, know, language, last, laughed, laughs, life, light, living, love, miles, new, not, now, october, one, only, over, platonic, professes, say, setting, since, sky, spent, stick, strangeness, sun, the, their, to, today, told, trek, under, up, walked, we, weekend, were, with, y, year, you, your
home is my prison, beating heart trapped within these four walls.
whole life spent in affirmation of having seen beauty, but how? i can’t even see beyond the metal bars of this cage. trapped in an illusion of golden locks and impurity of pure white snow.
yes, this is convention.
i didn’t need anyone’s help to lace me into this corset. i didn’t make you wait to take me to the ball. no carriages will carry me in this world.
there’s always time, —-
that’s what you say, calling me by my name, every syllable grounding me further into this quicksand. truth is, there isn’t time. all there is is this yearning need to –cease. then, colours stop swirling and coloured lights hush with their bright song of desire.
i am a fire.
i burn in this empty shell. you know it well. and i flash instead of them coloured lights, where every day is christmas, where sun burns red with passion of one’s life.
kiss me now.
tomorrow it will be too late.
tomorrow we will celebrate.
Posted in chapters of my life
Tagged affirmation, all, always, anyone, ball, bars, beat, beauty, beyond, bright, burn, burns, cage, call, carriage, carry, cease, celebrate, christmas, coloured, colours, convention, corset, day, desire, empty, even, every, fire, flash, four, further, golden, ground, have, heart, help, home, how, hush, illusion, impurity, instead, isn't, kiss, know, lace, late, life, lights, locks, make, me, metal, my, name, need, now, one, passion, prison, pure, quicksand, red, say, see, shell, snow, song, spent, sun, syllable, take, their, there, these, this, time, tomorrow, too, trap, trapped, truth, wait, walls, well, where, white, whole, with, within, world, yearning, yes, you
glittering soot on her eyelashes 